6 Strategies to Help You Navigate This Dysregulating Time

Is anyone else trying to put into words their experiences over the last few days and weeks?

Here’s my attempt…

New words have floated into our lives:

Quarantine

Online remote learning

Work-from-home

Covid-19

Coronavirus

Somehow, these words carry a lot of fear. I am seeing it play out in my office (now virtual office), my home, my social media, my local schools, and my news feed.

As a mental health professional, my job is to hold the space for dysregulated humans as they work through whatever it is that brought them through the door to my office. When the entire world is dysregulated, that’s a whole lot of space to hold.

Here are some tools I’ve been using:

  1. Limit your news intake. It’s very difficult to consume so much news all day long. It’s hard on our brains. Plan a time when you will look at the news. Limit it. Then, do something regulating after you’ve read or watched the news.

 

  1. Focus on what’s happening in the NOW. Stay...

Do Mean Girls Become Mean Women?

I started the morning at the school, asking to meet with a counselor before my daughter would agree to stay for the day. For weeks, she’s been navigating female friendships, mean girl stuff, and the struggle of communication between peers as a 12 year old.

I remember these years well. I remember the threat from a peer to beat me up because she thought I said something mean about her. I remember trying to wear the right clothes and do my hair the right way, all so I could fit in, which I never really feel like I did. As I reflect, I think it’s because no 12 year old girl really feels like she fits in. It’s part of the process of growing up.

As I hold this space with my own 6th grade daughter, I am trying so hard to show up for her, hear her, listen to her heart, support the individual person inside of her, play to her strengths, and show her empathy for the tough road of being a girl in middle school. Some days we navigate this beautifully. Other days it’s a...

Life and Times of a Self-Employed Single Mama

Uncategorized Jan 28, 2020

Friends,

I've written this post 6 times. I've deleted it. I started to record it. I deleted it.

I evaluated every topic I wanted to write or talk or teach about: the death of Selena Bell Not Afraid, why do people mourn for celebrities or famous people, a follow up from my last post-the Resiliency of America, and the brokenness of our mental health system.

All of these topics are important and meaningful. I have tons to say about each one of them.

And, yet, I deleted...all of it, every draft, every word, every sentence.

I have not posted in 3 weeks. I can't believe it! I've been so committed to showing up for you and I had huge challenges in that these last few weeks. I'm so sorry. You've been on my mind. I promise. Every. Single. Day. I look at my computer and think...I need to touch base with them. I need to connect. What can I teach? What do I have to offer? The answers came, and then they left.

So, I thought I'd get real with you.

What have I been doing?

Living. Surviving. Some...

The Trauma of America: What's America's ACE Score?

Scared, Helpless, Hopeless, Loss, Weight, Fear, Uncertainty, Disappointment, Anger, Paralyzed 

These are all the words that my body has stored over the last several days.  

As I sat down on Monday to record my weekly video blog, I just couldn’t follow through. 

It’s taken me days to really realize what I’m experiencing and even find words.  

And, even in this moment, I find it easier to write than to talk. I cannot articulate, out loud, what’s  occurring, internally and externally 

So, I write.  

Let me set this up for you.  

On New Year's Eve, I was sitting on a couch in Denver at the home of one of my dearest friends (also a clinician). We had just watched the ball drop. There was music and dancing and laughter and toasts. I was taking it all in. Feeling the excitement of a new year with new energy.  

I was so thankful that I was at this particular home: with the bi-lingual...

How Do You Define Family?

Uncategorized Dec 24, 2019
 

Hi friends, 

I hope this time of year finds you filled with connected time with family. This week, we cover the topic "family." It's a quick video, won't take long to watch. Yet, it's crucial to define what "family" means to you. 

From my family to yours, I wish you the happiest of holidays this season. Try to find the moments of joy, peace, and connection during this stressful season. 

Sending you love. 

Go Be You, 

Stacy

Do Your Religious Beliefs Traumatize Others?

Uncategorized Dec 17, 2019
 

Hi friends, 

Today's topics is one of those hard topics; one of those discussions that people shy away from. I hope that you will sit with this discussion and interact with me around this topic. 

I see so many clients who have been traumatized by people using religion against them. I look forward to hearing your feedback and interaction on this topic. 

Here's the link to the Holiday Tele-seminar I chatted about in our blog as well: https://www.gobeyou.org/offers/FRChghP5.

Thank you so much for your time during this really busy season. 

Sending you copious amounts of love during this season and always.

Go Be You, 

Stacy

 

Building a Support System

Uncategorized Dec 10, 2019
 

Hi, 

A support system is a crucial piece of navigating life's ups and downs. In today's blog we discuss the benefits of a support system as well as how to build one. 

I'm holding all of you in my heart this season. December is filled with lots of sensory overload and SO MUCH co-regulation. 

Here for ya. You're not alone. 

Go Be You, 

Stacy

The Power of Play for Safety and Emotional Regulation

Uncategorized Dec 03, 2019
 

Hi friends, 

I hope the last week was filled with Thanks and connection time. 

I had a wonderful holiday with my mother and my youngest sister and her family. I love any opportunity to reflect and give thanks for the many blessings I have. 

This week, we discuss play. I often say, "What would you do if you had spare time? Would you hang out with people you don't like, doing things you aren't any good at?" The answer is no. When we have spare time, we want to fill it with play. 

Play is the language of kids. So, we, as adults, need to make extra effort to play. We also have to understand that much of play is developmental. Babies aren't born knowing how to navigate a recess filled with so many kids and less supervision. 

Play is especially important for emotional regulation during the holiday season. This week's blog covers all of that!

 I mentioned the Holiday Tele-seminar I did a couple weeks ago in this video. The next 6 weeks are filled with all...

Allowing Space for Emotion When Setting Limits

Uncategorized Nov 25, 2019
 

Hey friends, 

This last week has been anything but easy. Thank you so much for your heartfelt emails and kind words. Duke was loved by many! 

This week I cover Limits. A limit is when we set a boundary for someone else. One of the things we forget to do with the kids in our lives is allow for them to have an emotional response to that limit. 

Hopefully, this week's blog will help a bit with that topic. 

In this blog, I also reference the Holiday Tele-seminar that I did last week. If you'd like access to it, just click here for all the details. 

I am so thankful for all of you who continue on this journey with me. 

Sending you so much thanks this week.

Go Be You, 

Stacy

 

The Death of a Family Pet

Uncategorized Nov 19, 2019

Hey friends, 

Today we put our dog, Duke, down. He was about 12 years old. He's been part of our family for 8 years.

I really wanted to record and upload a video for you today with valuable information that was very impactful. Instead, I grieved. My kids and I reflected on the beautiful gift Duke was to our family.

We talked about our favorite memories. We cried together. We watched movies. We ate ice cream. 

My son came to the vet with me and participated in putting Duke down. My daughter decided she didn't want to. She stayed at school during that time. We brought the school counselor into the discussion and he was so supportive. 

Then, my son went back to school and my daughter missed the rest of the day. 

I was reminded that everyone grieves differently. And, every human I know who has had a dog knows what a hard day it is. We created a lifelong memory today. I only hope that the trauma of the loss of Duke was mitigated somewhat by the gentle nature with...

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