How Do We Commit to Healing America's Trauma?

Uncategorized Jan 18, 2021

Nearly a year ago, I wrote a blog post titled: The Trauma of America: What's America's ACE Score? There is no possible way I could have predicted that the year following that post would be one of the most traumatic in America's recent history.

As we settle into this week and the changing of the Presidency, I cannot help but reflect on how much trauma America has experienced in the last 12 months:

  • a pandemic that has taken the lives of many loved ones
  • a pandemic that has taken the financial security of so many families
  • the fracturing of our education system
  • the racial tensions that have caused death
  • the targeting of our law enforcement officers
  • the political divide that has caused broken relationships
  • an election that spurred so much hate
  • and most recently, the violence and damage in our Nation's Capitol.

I find myself paralyzed with grief at times. So overwhelmed by emotions and the weight of America that I could cry at any moment. And often, I do.

Throughout the last 2 weeks, I have repeatedly asked myself, "When did we lose our humanity? When did we stop caring about each other?"

Everyday of my life, I have conversations about humans: how to raise them, how to be married to them, how to divorce them, how to love them, how to help them manage their anger and big feelings, how to support them on their journey.

The weight of these conversations is so heavy these days. Clearly, we need to be having more of them.

When I try to break down the WHY of this last year being so traumatic, here's what I come up with:

1. We just cannot communicate very well with each other.

2. We struggle to work through conflict effectively.

3. We no longer LISTEN to each other. We only listen to respond and defend our side.

4. Our children are watching all of this.

So, how do we change the world when it feels like the world is spinning out of control?

1. We start in our own homes. We work on expressing feelings appropriately, navigating conflict responsibly and respectfully, and being kind to each other IN OUR OWN HOMES.

2. We do a deep dive into our own blueprints. We do what we know. Many of us grew up in homes where the lessons we learned there no longer serve us or meet our needs or the needs of our children. We have to reflect on our own growing up experiences, work through our own childhood trauma, and show up healthier for the next generation.

3. We take responsibility for how we show up in the world and the space we share with others. When I travel with my kids, I always tell them, "Remember that we are sharing space with lots of other people, so, we have to be kind in this space to everyone." One day, my kids witness a man yelling at an elderly woman for sitting in the wrong seat on a plane. My daughter loudly exclaimed, "Mom, he forgot that he's sharing space with all of us. He forgot to be kind." Whew! Excellent lesson. We have to remember that people absorb our energy. Be intentional in what you put out there!

4. We stop blaming "everyone in Washington" and we start getting involved locally. I've been sitting on this comment for a couple days. We have to figure out how to get involved locally. That's one of my goals for 2021. How can I show up in my community in a bigger way that impacts healing and change.

I can no longer stand silent as I watch America go through this trauma. We have to work together to overcome this and provide a safe world for our children and their children. I definitely don't know the answers. I am committed to continuing to figure this out and do my part.

Drop me an email ([email protected]) and tell me how you're going to commit to this healing process together. I'm glad we're not alone in this.

Go Be You,



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