I see you.
I really do.
I see how hard you are working to show up for your students, for my kids.
I see how hard it is to teach during a global crisis with fragmented support from our government and our fellow humans.
I see you working to figure out how to teach "safely." No one has had to do this before you.
I see you working so diligently to connect to the students behind the camera, the one who won't turn theirs on.
I see you wondering about the student who isn't showing up anymore.
I see you curious about what's going on with that student that used to stop by your room all of the time, but no one has heard from.
I see you posting grades in the middle of the night.
I see you returning emails before sunrise.
I see your exhaustion.
Your effort to keep your own family...
Did that Betty White picture catch your eye?
I cracked up when I saw it online. Then, my partner and I said, "We have to get this for each other and share it with our neighbors."
You see, we live on a VERY busy street! Hundreds of people drive by everyday. We've been thinking, "What's the point of living on a busy street if you can't make someone smile from time to time?"
So, here it is. A dozen Roses.
What in the world does this even have to do with mental health? Therapy? Education? Parenting? Relationship? Connection?
Well, over the last 6 weeks, a consistent theme has popped up in my sessions...
"Stacy, we are just not having any fun in this house anymore."
"Stacy, it's all business here...get this done, get that done, clean this up, clean that up."
"Stacy, I don't even know the last time we had any fun...with each other, with our kids, with our friends."
Whew! Yeah. That's heavy. I FEEL those words! It's so hard to have fun, find levity, laugh, when we are carrying the...
"How many times do I have to tell you to do that?"
"How many times do we have to go over this?"
"How many times are you going to do that?"
"How many times are we going to talk about the same thing over and over?"
If I had a dollar for every time those words have fallen out of my mouth!
Can ya relate?
As parents, as teachers, there's a good chance we have said these things over and over and over and over.
Always wondering if the kids in our lives will ever "learn the lesson" and change their behavior.
When I started learning more about brain development in children, I realized that all behavior is a language. We just have to know how to interpret that language.
Several researchers have helped us understand that negative behavior is really a sign of stress. When a child's behavior is frustrating, inappropriate, aggressive, defiant, and just down right difficult, it often indicates that the child is stressed.
Kids can be stressed for a multitude of reasons: biological changes,...
Have you ever had a stronger reaction to a person or situation than what you know was warranted?
Welcome to what I call, "The Train Wreck of the Unconscious." It's a term I coined a few years ago as I watched someone I loved literally play out his childhood during our adulthood.
The entire experience got me thinking about our unconscious selves.
Typically, the process of coming to therapy goes something like this:
1. Person calls therapist to make appointment to address a specific issue.
2. Person comes in for first appointment and goes into details about specific issues that his bringing him/her in.
3. Person starts EMDR. (Click here for more information on EMDR as a therapetic tool).
4. Much like an iceberg, person begins realizing that the surface level issue that brought him/her into therapy is really driven by under-the-surface situations that have never been fully dealt with.
5. Person begins to feel feelings, process information, and articulate past situations that haven't...
Nearly a year ago, I wrote a blog post titled: The Trauma of America: What's America's ACE Score? There is no possible way I could have predicted that the year following that post would be one of the most traumatic in America's recent history.
As we settle into this week and the changing of the Presidency, I cannot help but reflect on how much trauma America has experienced in the last 12 months:
I find myself paralyzed with grief at times. So overwhelmed by emotions and the weight of America that I could cry at any moment. And often, I do.
Throughout the last 2 weeks, I...
"We are living in crazy times."
"How can I even begin to move forward in a normal way?"
"What is this world coming to?"
"Seems like every time I turn on the news, there's something worse happening."
Everyday, I am inundated with these questions, thoughts, concerns for the greater world that we live in. I'm with ya. I have those same concerns, too.
Some days, it's really easy to focus on the negative that's occurring in the bigger world around us. In reality, we have very little control over what happens in that bigger world, outside of us.
When we get really honest about that and recognize what we have control over, we come back to ourselves and the present moment.
All of our worries about future moments rob us from the moments that we are living right NOW.
But, Stacy, where do I even begin?
Here are a few tips to help you practice living in the current moment.
1. Think about your sensory system. When we are stressed, the most efficient way to emotionally regulate, is to engage your...
Happy New Year!!
We all survived 2020. It wasn't without loss or grief or going through really hard things. We are survivors!
If 2020 taught me anything, it's that connection and support are critical for human beings. It's a biological necessity to have a village of people who help us navigate life.
My word for 2021 is SUPPORT.
Thus, today's post...10 Ways I am Going to Support You in 2021!
Here we go....
1. FREE: Weekly Community of Connection via Zoom. Think of this as a space where you can ask questions or just connect with other people. The last two weeks has gone so awesome and been so valuable, I decided to make it a weekly commitment, every WEDNESDAY at 11am MST. You can drop in anytime between 11-12pm MST. The Zoom Meeting ID is: 434 254 1987. The password is: Resilience.
2. FREE: Weekly blog posts. Every week I will be posting valuable information to help you navigate parenting, educating, mental health-ing, and just getting through the day to day life. Be sure you...
Is anyone else trying to put into words their experiences over the last few days and weeks?
Here’s my attempt…
New words have floated into our lives:
Online remote learning
Somehow, these words carry a lot of fear. I am seeing it play out in my office (now virtual office), my home, my social media, my local schools, and my news feed.
As a mental health professional, my job is to hold the space for dysregulated humans as they work through whatever it is that brought them through the door to my office. When the entire world is dysregulated, that’s a whole lot of space to hold.
Here are some tools I’ve been using:
I started the morning at the school, asking to meet with a counselor before my daughter would agree to stay for the day. For weeks, she’s been navigating female friendships, mean girl stuff, and the struggle of communication between peers as a 12 year old.
I remember these years well. I remember the threat from a peer to beat me up because she thought I said something mean about her. I remember trying to wear the right clothes and do my hair the right way, all so I could fit in, which I never really feel like I did. As I reflect, I think it’s because no 12 year old girl really feels like she fits in. It’s part of the process of growing up.
As I hold this space with my own 6th grade daughter, I am trying so hard to show up for her, hear her, listen to her heart, support the individual person inside of her, play to her strengths, and show her empathy for the tough road of being a girl in middle school. Some days we navigate this beautifully. Other days it’s a...
I've written this post 6 times. I've deleted it. I started to record it. I deleted it.
I evaluated every topic I wanted to write or talk or teach about: the death of Selena Bell Not Afraid, why do people mourn for celebrities or famous people, a follow up from my last post-the Resiliency of America, and the brokenness of our mental health system.
All of these topics are important and meaningful. I have tons to say about each one of them.
And, yet, I deleted...all of it, every draft, every word, every sentence.
I have not posted in 3 weeks. I can't believe it! I've been so committed to showing up for you and I had huge challenges in that these last few weeks. I'm so sorry. You've been on my mind. I promise. Every. Single. Day. I look at my computer and think...I need to touch base with them. I need to connect. What can I teach? What do I have to offer? The answers came, and then they left.
So, I thought I'd get real with you.
What have I been doing?
Living. Surviving. Some...